Beer Banter

$hit Drunk People Say – How to Tell if Someone is Drunk

How do you tell if someone is drunk?

$hit Drunk People Say – How to Tell if Someone is Drunk

Most of us can admit that we’ve done some pretty dumb things while drunk and a lot of us can also recall our friends doing really dumb things while drunk. Alcohol can really cause you to do and say some wild, wild things. Let’s debunk some myths that an intoxicated person may try to tell:


Shit Drunk People Say
What to Do and Why You Should Never Believe Them


“I’m not even that drunk!”

Red flag! 9 times out of 10, when a person who has been drinking says, “I’m not even that drunk!” They are, indeed, that drunk.


What to do when someone says they are not drunk:

Take proper precautions, cut them off and/or take them home. Also, take their phone, this person is about to text their ex or send a drunk text to their boss.


“I didn’t even have that much to drink, I’m good!”

Nuh-uh. A person who has been drinking that claims they haven’t had that much to drink, even though you just saw them double fisting it a few minutes ago, is a bold-faced, too-drunk-to-drive-home liar.


What to do when someone is getting too drunk:

Once again, take proper precautions by keeping an eye on them, stopping them from drinking and calling them a cab, ASAP.


“I’m good to drive home, I just live around the corner.”

It doesn’t matter if they lived next door, they are not good to go behind a wheel. They certainly can walk home, since they live so close.


“I can drive home drunk, I’ve done it before, I’m good at it.”

Nope! No one is “good” at drunk driving. It should never be done, ever. Never let anyone that tells you this get behind the wheel and never get behind the wheel with someone who tells you this. Drunk you makes the decision to text your ex at 3am, so obviously, drunk you is in no position to decide whether or not you can drive. Don’t be a dick, just call an uber.


“I’m good, I drank water.”

This person is probably a comedian. Unfortunately, a glass of water after 3 shots of Grey Goose and a Jägerbomb won’t sober you up. Hand over the keys, please.


What to do when a drunk person wants to drive:

If a drunk person is insistent on driving their vehicle, do your best to stop them. Take their keys, call them a taxi or an uber or offer to walk them home. If the person is still insistent, don’t be afraid to call 9-1-1. Better safe than sorry.


“I can have a few more, I ate before drinking so I’m good.”

A loaf of bread isn’t going to soak up a six-pack in anyone’s stomach. That alcohol will hit you like a ton of bricks. No driving for you.


Like many things in life, drinking comes with risks. Knowing the risks, being accountable, and taking the proper precautions to keep you and others around you safe before having a drink is the key to being a “responsible drinker” and avoiding alcohol-related accidents and injuries.



How to Be Safe While Drinking


Take care of yourself
How to Avoid Getting Drunk / What to Do When You’re Drunk


Know Your Limits & Avoid Binge Drinking

Binge drinking is defined as consuming over 4 beers or alcoholic drinks over the course of an hour. Whether you’re chugging them or drinking “slowly”, if your objective is to get drunk, it’s considered binge drinking.

Binge drinking has its risks. Excessive binge drinking can lead to brain damage, liver damage, infertility and so much more. For more details on binge drinking and your health see Know Your Limits.

If you are too drunk, call for help or click here learn what to do when you’ve had too much to drink.


A Drink Graphic
Image by: Canadian Centre on Substance Abuse


Drinking Responsible Guidelines


If You’ve Been Drinking, Don’t Drive

We’re sure you’ve heard it before, “Don’t Drink & Drive.” Though it’s repeated over and over, the phrase should never lose its weight. It seems pretty obvious, but when you drink, your ability to properly assess your level of intoxication is compromised. So, even though you may think you’re fine, more often than not, you’re too drunk to drive. Drinking and driving not only puts you in danger but those around you.

Don’t play the guessing game. If you’ve had more than 2 drinks in a two-hour period, don’t drive.

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention in the US says that:

Every day, 28 people in the United States die in motor vehicle crashes that involve an alcohol-impaired driver. This is one death every 51 minutes.

According to MADD Canada while the numbers are slightly lower, but alcohol-related car crashes are still the #1 cause of accidental death for Canadians:

On average, approximately 4 people are killed each day in crashes involving alcohol and/or drugs. In 2012, there were 2,546 crash deaths. Of those, 1,497 deaths, or 58.8%, involved drivers who had some alcohol and/or drug presence in their systems.



How to Get Home When You’re Drunk
Alternatives To Driving Impaired


Appoint a designated driver.

Going out in a group? Carpool and appoint a designated driver. Your designated driver is responsible for driving your group to and from your destination and should not consume alcohol and/or recreational drugs (marijuana, etc.) during the course of the night. However, we know sometimes choosing a DD can be difficult and many people are reluctant to be the sober one in a sea of drunk people. So, if you can’t choose a DD, try one of our other alternatives!

JustBeer Fun Fact:

Did you know that often many bars and nightclub offer free non-alcoholic beverages (juice, pop, energy drinks) to designated drivers and/or pregnant customers? Ask the bartender next time you’re DD for the night.


Call a friend or family member.

There is absolutely no shame in doing this. It’s okay to be well out of your teenage years and still calling a family member to pick you up. We’re thinking most of them would prefer to pick you up then make the decision to get behind the wheel while intoxicated. However, if you’re still a little ashamed, we have more options for you.


Call a taxi or an Uber.

Seems pretty straight forward. Too drunk to drive? Call a taxi or an uber. Yes, this can sometimes be a little pricey depending on where you reside, but not nearly as pricey as the consequences of drunk driving.

Download the Uber App here.


Call a Designated Driver Service

Let someone else be DD, so no one in your group has to! Designated Driver Services, like Keys Please, will transport you to and/or from your destination, using your vehicle, so you don’t have to worry about picking it up the next day or overnight parking fees.

Click here for a list of Alberta’s Designated Driver Services.
Click here to find a Designated Driver Service Near Me.


Take Care of Others
What to Do When Someone Else is Drunk


While it’s your responsibility to care for yourself, it’s also important to care for those around you in settings where alcohol is involved.


Don’t let those who have been drinking behind the wheel.

If you notice someone has been drinking excessively, it’s best to not let them get behind the wheel or allow others to get behind the wheel with them. Call them a taxi, Uber or designated driver service to ensure they get home safely.


Know what to do when someone has had too much to drink.

Let’s say your friend doesn’t know their limits or you find someone who doesn’t look too well at a party. Knowing how to care for a drunk person or someone who has blacked out could save a life. Read this article on What To Do When Someone Has Had Too Much To Drink.


Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Part of taking care of others is first taking care of yourself and knowing your limitations. If you’re too intoxicated or unequipped to help someone else, call for help. Don’t be afraid to call an ambulance or assistance, it could save a life. If you’re having trouble figuring out when to call, just call. Better to be safe than sorry.


Drug & Alcohol Emergency Hotlines:

Ambulance/Police/Fire: 9-1-1 (Canada/USA) | 999 (UK)
Poison Control Centre: +1 800-332-1414 (Canada) | 1-800-222-1222 (USA)


We’re definitely not trying to alarm you. Here at JustBeer, we care about responsible drinking and want all of our readers to do their part and have a good time and enjoy their drinks in a safe way.


Drink responsibly because your actions affect those around you. Have fun, be safe and watch out for yourself and others!


If you or a loved one is experiencing signs of excessive drinking or alcohol is becoming in your life, you are not alone. Below are resources to aid in alcohol-related addictions and illnesses:
American Addiction Centers
Alcoholics Anonymous
Canada Alcohol and drug Rehabilitation Services
Canadian Centre for Addictions


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